My Mind, Body and Soul Mission Summer 2008 got a little off track over the past 7 days. My husband decided that we are moving to North Carolina next summer. This is great, but I had to spend some time getting organized, like filing TAXES, 6 years worth to be exact....who knew you have to file US taxes when you earn a foreign income?? Once I have a task to complete, I have to do it and finish it. The problem was my undertaking took several days at home on the PC and I put on 3 pounds. My summer mission has really been insightful. Not only have I learned that I need to start working on my negative attitude and that I have taken on the identity of the city I am living in, but I also have a problem eating when I am bored. If I am engaged in an activity that is keeping me busy, I don't snack. Over the past few days at home working on my PC, I probably spent most of that time standing in front of the fridge with the door open, as though something new has popped in since the last hour. I hate to acknowledge all these negative attributes about myself, but if I am going to get real and work my own self-improvement program for the summer, I have to be honest. It is hard to realize that I am picking up some really bad habits, and exuding some really negative vibes. I read in Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth that "I am doing just fine, thank you" is a role the ego plays more commonly in America than in certain other countries where being and looking miserable is the norm and therefore more socially acceptable." When I read that my mouth dropped to the floor. That is such a profound statement, and so true, for myself as an American and as an Egyptian. No wonder I am in such a flux, as an American I want to fake it and smile and "be right", and as an Egyptian I want to ventilate and "be right." Either way, I want to be right about everything and to be validated that I am right, and then have a snack. Yep, it is difficult working the Mind, Body and Soul Mission Summer 2008 program. Perhaps I don't need to know myself that well.....to much knowledge about ones self has to be detrimental to your mental health.
On that note..
Until next time,
A Woman of Egypt

As an elementary school teacher, I above many others realize how powerful a picture can be. I couldn't help but wring my hands together when one of the most liberal magazines in America, The New Yorker, used this cartoon as its cover. I understand that it is giving the proverbial "stick that in your pipe and smoke it you bigoted, racist, ignorant, lack of education and understanding American idiots." The problem is, I am not so sure the rest of the US voting population will "get it" nor will the international readers of this magazine be able to filter the humor from the picture. With that said, aside from my "paid" job as an elementary school teacher, I also represent the United States of America on a daily basis. This job is non paid and on a volunteer basis, but I am commited nonetheless. Every day is a challenge in the classroom, but I find working as a representative of America more difficult. Explaining a democratic society to some of the places I have traveled to in the world can get rather dicey, especially when some of what we put out to the rest of the world is a bit messy. For example, the word "Freedom"...when I explain freedom to non English speakers and non westerners, I say.."My freedom ends when and where your rights begin. That helps create the basis for a democratic society of freedom of speech, freedom of religion, tolerance, acceptance, cooperation and compromise for all people, regardless of race, gender and sexual or religious affiliation." Now, unbenownst to The New Yorker, they have just expanded my volunteer efforts in my "non paid" job as a US representative not only abroad, but in the US as well. In all honesty and let's cut "through the fat" as we say in the south, tolerance, acceptance and religious freedom for anyone ín the US depends greatly on who is on the receiving end. Let's take Barak Obama for example since the cover was about him. I personally beleive Barak Obama is "quintessential Americana" as its best. He is half white, half black (by the way, the half black is PURE black African with a father from Kenya, we all know that the white part is not PURE American, since we cannot trace his roots back to the NATIVE American Indians which were the TRUE and RIGHTFUL inhabitants of America before the Queen kicked out all the lackeys and drunkards from the jails of England to America and Australia to expand her territories) his first name Barak is a popular Jewish name, I know 3 Isreali's with the name Barak, his middle name Hussein is a popular Middle Eastern/Islamic name, and of course his last name is Obama, his family name. His father was unavailable for parental duties, his mom did her best with what she could, and eventually he was raised by his grandparents. he went on to graduate from some of the most prestigious schools in America. Well, what do you know, that sounds like the life story of most Americans, one mixed up, jumbled up, messy, dysfunctional American family. In my most humble opinion, regardless of whether you support Barak Obama or not, every American should be offended by this deragatory picture of A) An American family B) The American political structure and C) the blatant display of disrespect that only serves to encourage prejudice and anti-American sentiment around the world. If one wishes to invoke his/her rights to freedom of speech, then perhaps he/she needs to consider the responsibility of those rights. If any American wishes to use satire to ridicule or scorn another American or for that matter, other people of the world, then have some self respect and at least let it be thought provoking, insightful, and open lines of communicaton for discussion or debate. America needs to start cleaning up its own backyard and consider the fact that with great power, comes great responsibility.We don't even respect, appreciate or understand our own basic democratic society, how should we propose to continue to extole its virtues around the world.

Until next time,

A Woman of Egypt

As part of my Mind, Body and Soul Mission Summer 2008 the dreaded dental visit was a part of the plan. I realize that caring for your mouth is good for your overall well being. I just have a problem with the whole idea of "the dentist." The anxiety I feel as soon as I smell the dentist office is too much. I scheduled my dental work, sticking true to my plan of working my mission for the summer, and my dentist told me I had to replace one filling that was cracked, have two root canals and one implant. The was just wonderful and I was soo excited. Thankfully, my root canals ended up being fillings and my implant can be put off...as in indefinitely. I had my teeth cleaned and scaled and the only thing left to do was have two of my fillings covered with crowns. Life was looking so much better. I have no idea why I have such anxiety in regards to the dentist. By the way, my dentist is super and I will include his information for anyone living in Egypt. He works with several different doctors in a very clean, professional clinic.

Esha Integrated Dentofacial Center

Dr. Tamer H. Farahat

154 El Nile Street

3-761-0288

3-336-3345

They speak Arabic and English and are very helpful.

Until next time,

A Woman of Egypt

In retrospect, I have come to realize that my attitude and general unhappiness over the past year is my own doing. I returned from my summer holiday last year in Europe with a heavy heart, and I have felt burdened since. I did not want to come back, and that has been reflected in my attitude towards myself and others over the past year. I thought that if I made a spiritual journey, I would come back with my batteries recharged and a new prospective. My trip for Umrah was set up for failure on my part, because I expected something which did not thappen. I don't know if I thought I would hear harps playing, see Angels, have a personality change...I have no idea. I do know that I "got it" once I returned from Saudi Arabia. I realized that when I came back to Cairo last summer, I actually did not want to be here. I wanted to be with my husband, I missed him and loved him, I love my job and I wanted to return to work, but I did not want to live in this city any longer. If I could take my husband and my job out of the city, I would be very happy. I resented in some small way having to come back, and as soon as my flight landed in Cairo from Italy, I was primed with a grievance. That grievance snow balled over the year, and as a consequence I reacted to anything and everything with negativity. I was charged and what compounded my problem is that the other 28 million people in the city are charged in the same negative way. The moment you step outside of your home in Cairo you encounter a struggle. Everyone is struggling for space, air, recognition, money, peace of mind....you name it, we are struggling. I had lost my perspective, and I had become part of the problem. I was finding fault with everyone around me. I had comepletely lost my identity and absorbed the ones around me. I became a living, breathing, aggressive, defensive, argumentative whiner that was taking everything around me personally. I can't tell you how many times I told my husband that the taxi drivers know me now, and I have to argue with them all daily or otherwise they don't pick me up at all. That is incredible, and I have no idea how I came to that informed idea as we have millions of taxis in the city alone. I am sure in retrospect they do not know me personally. I had taken on the crazy, chaotic lifestyle of this city as my identity, and I was not handling it well at all. I was not optimistic and/or looking on the bright side of anything or anyone. I viewed everyone and all ideas with sarcasm and derision, I was not a happy camper and I did not like myself. That is one of the reasons why I decided to work on Mind, Body and Soul during the summer holiday. My trip to Umrah was a part of that experience, and my dissatisfaction had nothing to do with my trip. I needed to change my perspective.
Until next time,
A Woman of Egypt

My time in Mecca got better after I realized that I had to toughen up and forget about the behavior of others. I made my prayers and supplications as I wanted and I learned to look past the people that were around me. I had been warned that the weather would be bad and the toilets even worse. I can't complain about either. Living in Egypt had already introduced me to both and the weather in Saudi Arabia was super. We made a second Umrah on our last night there, which was much better than the first and I completed everything I wanted to do during that time. I felt better, but was still happy to be headed home the next day. I met some truly nice people, like Heba's sister-in-law Sahar and her kids, God bless her and her scarves. She was a God send, and I had lots of hugs and greetings from people I don't know and will probably never meet again. We were able to meet an Egyptian who works in Saudi Arabia as a school director and her intervention with inquiries in regards to my nationality were greatly appreciated. Thanks so much to her and her quick wit. I had two little boys around 7 or 8 ask me if I was from Palestine (that was a new one) and they even turned around to double check my answer. I guess they couldn't beleive I was American, living in Egypt and speaking Arabic. My husband was about to crack up. Our flight home was beyond any comedy show you could imagine. We flew on some Phuket Air/Thailand Sky airbus, that had first come- first serve seating, no A/C, staff that was terribly ill-equipped to deal with a bunch of hot, irritated, tired, fed up, and frustrated Egyptians after a 1 and 1/2 hour delay in departure. I truly felt we were flying in a chicken coop with wings. I was not sure the poor aircraft was going to make lift-off, and lots of things were swinging in the air, seats were flying back (thank GOD, we made it home) but only after some major laughing. My husband lost his temper with one of the cabin crew (I just kept fanning him with the airline safety brochure, no need to interrupt a free movie) people were complaining about the A/C, the flight crew took off their jackets and they were WET with perspiration, food trays were being thrown in the aisles, and a general air of unhappiness and discontent was present. I personally was over the top THRILLED with the whole scenario and to me it was the best part of the trip. I have never laughed so much during air travel. Once we returned to Cairo my sister-in-law Soheir and my brother-in-law Sameh came over and asked me how I liked my trip. I replied that "I didn't" and they didn't know what to say. I realized that my response was negating everything about the act of pilgrimage not only for myself, but for them as well. I felt quilty, and I started asking myself why was I so negative all the time. I think the lightbulb went off in that moment for me and I started reflecting on my experience and the reasons for my disillusionment.

Until next time,

A Woman of Egypt

After the Umrah the night before, and my disappointment with my inability to feel the "moving religious awakening" that I thought would miraculously appear, I had no idea that the next day would be one of my breaking points. Perhaps it was due to exhaustion, maybe it had even more to do with the fact that I was on day 12 of a hormone to delay the onset of my menstruation, only God knows...but I know that I was ill equipped to deal with the events of the next day. After finding a spot to pray (it was very busy at the noon prayer) in the middle of my supplications that I could not make the night before, I felt some slight fiddling around my ankles. I looked down, in the middle of "God, please give everyone clean, safe drinking water".... to find two women investigating my white galabaya, pants, and socks. I could not beleive what I was seeing, they were actually lifting it up and looking at the stitching of my pants and socks. I was so flabbergasted, I did not know what to do. How on earth could I pray about preserving and taking care of our natural resources when the people in the mosque needed some serious supplications themselves. I completely lost all train of thought and eventually they noticed me looking at them and they gave my galabaya a good tug, as though to straighten it out, and started looking forward. The mosque was really starting to fill up and I ended up praying on top of my bag that held my shoes and all the while someone else was poking my feet from behind to get me to move, as though there was any room to move. When the prayer ended, I got out and met my husband and I was in tears. I told him the whole experience was terrible and I was ready to leave and come back home to Cairo. He looked crestfallen and did not know what to say. I only wanted to get out of that area and go to my room, and NEVER leave it again until our flight. He made me stop in the grocery store (against my will) and we made some purchases. I was in such a state, I could barely contain myself waiting for him to choose which deodorant he wanted. We finally paid and he asked me to wait while he went back in to look at something else. I was so irritated, tired, and frustrated and I was just biting my tongue to not start crying. I have never felt so torn inside. The spiritual awakening I had anticipated for my Body, Soul and Mind Mission Summer 2008 was not panning out. I hated the crowd, I hated praying in a jumble of people, I hated the whole mess and now I was standing outside of a grocery store, against my will, waiting for my husband to look for a tea kettle. I wanted to go back to Cairo and sooner, rather than later. We had purchased some cold pepsi's and water and so I took one out of the bags I was holding and opened it and took a swallow. In that moment, a woman wearing a niqab came by and pointed to my Pepsi and my hand. I asked her in Arabic what happened, and she responded in English that I was drinkng out of the wrong hand, and how long had I been a muslim and I had a lot to learn! Well, that was it. I walked off, left my husband, went to the room and I swore I was never coming back out till we left for the airport. Heba, my colleague (my Umrah guide and companion, God bless her) came in with some Baskin and Robbins and we had a good laugh about people's behavior and she told me that I had to get strong, toughen up and get with the program, it was my personal Jihad (struggle) to deal with everything and I had better get my mind straight. She was right, and I was able to get my program back on track. I think that what I expected of Mecca was different from what I found, and I was disappointed....not from the place, but from what I had expected it to be.
Until next time,
A Woman of Egypt

On our way to Mecca we had to stop at a certain place and make our Ihram (our intention for Umrah) before continuing on our journey. The place to wash yourself was very crowded as was the area for prayer. I was seriously trying to keep it all together, but doubts were creeping in as to my ability to keep my temper in check on the way to my Umrah. I couldn't understand why we left a 5 star hotel only moments before, showered and clean, and then had to go and wash ourselves in an area that was overly crowded and dirty. I was seriously thinking that my Mind, Body and Soul Mission Summer 2008 was severely off track. Nevertheless, I made my intention, I prayed and we returned to the bus. Our trip into Mecca was without incident and we were all very hungry when we arrived. We ate around 11:30 p.m. and then returned to our rooms to shower and perform our Umrah. The whole area where the Holy Mosque is located is really overwhelming beautiful. I couldn't help but think of all the history surrounded by large, towering skyscrapers. It is a sight to behold. We entered the Mosque and the first thing you notice are the people. That whole area is full of people, day and night. At night, there is enough lighting to make you feel as if it is daylight outside. We pushed our way down to the main area where the Kabba is located and we started our Umrah. Thankfully, we were able to complete our curcumbulations around the Kabba very quickly. The only problem was that you could not be focused on your prayers or supplications due to the people stopping in the middle of everyone, to pray, supplicate, or to just stand in awe of the Kabba. Emad wanted me to get closer to the inside area of the traffic to see everything, but I prefered to stay on the outside lane. Wheelchairs and their drivers were hissing and bumping into people, bodies pushing and shoving, random persons stopping to pray in the middle of your stride, people pressing their bodies up to the Kabba to wipe clothing, even themselves on the Kabba. I felt I constantly had to look out for what the other person was doing, step around or over someone, and to keep a look out for wheelchairs behind me that might knock me down. When we moved onto the Safwa and Marwa, I was disappointed, as I had a whole list of what I wanted make supplications for and to show gratitidue for while I was in the Kabba area, and I never got to do one. I never knew that the next feat would prove to be impossible. With all the construction, the area for Safwa and Marwa was very hot and congested. I think I ran the whole seven rounds and at one point was almost lifted off the ground and pushed through by the crowd. We completed our Uhmrah and I had not made one of my supplications. We prayed the morning prayer and went back to our room. We were thoroughly exhausted and we managed to get some rest and went to pray the noon prayer in the mosque. I do beleive this prayer for the noon prayer was my breaking point.

Until next time,

A Woman of Egypt

When you go to Saudi Arabia on Umrah, one needs to be covered. I found wearing the higab a bit uncomfortable and itchy. I takes time to adapt. We arrived in Medinah and checked into our hotel late in the evening. The weather was not bad. It was much better than Cairo which was humid and hot. Medinah was hot during the day and relatively cool in the evening. This was my first time to pray in large groups at the mosque and I found the whole thing a bit disconcerting. The early morning prayers were enjoyable, as it was not so crowded and you could find a place to pray with ease. The prayers during the day were more crowded and for the noon prayer and afternoon prayers, I found it easier to pray outside of the mosque in the sun. I realized that I could not focus on my prayers and worship when I was getting pushed, shoved, stepped on, and jostled. During my time in Medinah, I was able to visit an area where the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) and two of his companions are buried. There is also an area where you can pray and make your supplications. The area is quite small and they allow people in during certain times. You are moving within a group and you have a leader who speaks that language. Egyptians with their group, Turkish with their group, Iranians with their group, Malaysians with their group, etc. There are signs and workers to keep you with your group. I have seen things during this time period which I found completely incredible. Women were hugging and kissing the pillars, one group of women knocked down a portable dividier to keep an area segregated. Female workers were hanging from pillars shouting out directions to get people to move and stay in a certain area. It was complete mayhem. My husband told me about an incident where a Saudi man slapped a Bangladeshi man because the Bangledeshi man would not move and allow the Saudi room to pray. This first visit for Umrah, for these first few days started to put seeds of doubt in my mind of having made the right decision to go to Umrah. This was not what I had signed on for...I thought I would go and have a spiritual awakening, a renewal, a feeling of serenity and peace. I found the opposite happening, a niggling of doubt about what I was doing, who I was worshipping with, was I EVEN able to worship with all that chaos and confusion?! How could I, or anyone else for that matter, focus on my prayers and supplications when you are constantly interrupted due to other people's behavior?! This is not what I thought the religion was about. Bad behavior, disregard for people and place, ignorance, and body odor were rampant. I had no clue as to what I was in for when I left Madinah and moved on to Mecca.

Until next time,

A Woman of Egypt

My Mind, Body and Soul Mission Summer 2008 is still in operation. My quest for inner peace and tranquility comes on the heels after a year of feeling emotionally disconnected, some personal dissatisfaction, and the general malaise of living in a city with 28 million people (according to a tour guide at Christmas) as my neighbors. I decided that since we were not planning to travel during July and August, I would spend this summer trying to reach a level of spiritual awareness to improve myself over the summer. This would be achieved by exercise, reading books on health and wellbeing, and watching my diet. During the planning stages of my summer mission, a friend of mine told me about a trip to Saudi Arabia for Umrah that she and her husband would be going on at the end of June. She invited us to join her family, and of course my husband was thrilled with the idea about going to Umrah. We took the decision to go and our plans started from there. I was very excited about the whole prospect, since this would go along perfectly with my Mind, Body and Soul Mission Summer 2008. I went to have the shots, applied for the visa, bought all the galabeyas, abayas and higabs, worked out all the details, and prepared my list to make supplications or "dua'" for all the people who are important to me. I felt I was on the right path towards my spiritual journey of the summer. I readied my mind, I prepared my heart, and I was all set for the journey. I was still working out daily at the gym, meeting all my goals for physical exercise and I felt primed. On the day of our departure, my house was ready, my bags were packed, and we were set to go. All was going as planned. My husband was experiencing some stomach discomfort, but other than popping some medicine to alleviate that, everything was going well. We arrived at the aiport late as usual, we never get to any international flight on time. We boarded the plane and we were off, higab and all. Ready to begin my spiritual journey, ready to be moved into a larger awakening, a different level of conciousness. I surely needed a different frequency than what I had experienced over the past year. I encountered even more than what I expected, although I am not sure exactly what it was I expected. My next blog entries will be about what I experienced and learned during the beginning of my summer mission.

Until next time,

A Woman of Egypt