My husband had a very enlightening conversation with my mother-in-law the other day. It seems she was complaining about the fact that I am not very "entertaining" in the evenings when she comes over. My husbands explanation was so clear and concise, I feel I need to share it with you all. Emad told my MIL exactly this..."Stephanie is a foreigner, she does not bother herself with people. She takes care of her responsibilities and that is it. If she wants to sleep, she will sleep, if she wants to eat, she will eat, if she wants to taker her shower she will take her shower. She will not drop what she has to do, just to sit and entertain you, or me, or anyone else for that matter."
I wasn't surprised she had complained. I do go to bed very early as I love to read for about one hour prior to sleeping. I am normally asleep during school nights by 10:00. Most of the time, I fall asleep with the light on and Emad has to come in and shut it off. I was aware my husband knew me quite well, but I thought about what he said. Egyptians by nature, love people. They will make large efforts to entertain their guests in a grand fashion. If you go to their home, they will serve you to their maximum ability. I used to be somehow like this when I lived in South Carolina. I was a Martha Steward wannabe. Since living in Cairo, I have changed this position. I find that I am busy from 6:00 am until 9:00 pm and I am not sure exactly how I spent my time. I don't have the time for the small details and I just focus on what I deem to be most important. My MIL just shrugged her shoulders, and I am sure she cannot recall the conversation. I have tried to be a bit more attentive regarding her visits. I try not to jump up and start putting clothes away, or unloading the dishwasher, etc. I try to remind myself that the most important things in our life are the relationships we have with the people around us. Leaving a load of clothes, or the dishwasher loaded for an extra 30 minutes will not make any difference if the world stopped rotating. The "could have" and "should have " though, is more than I want to consider. I have to remind myself, I am living in a community that is very communal and led by emotional charges and they do take it personally. I need to respect their societal norms on all occasions and not just a few.
A Woman of Egypt